3 years ago

man up

December 5, 2011
25


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{ wide leg pants : santacruz station road, white ruffle top : colaba, black ruffle cardigan : esprit, belt : and, bag : bought in spain, spider ring : bought in spain, cuff : colaba, shoes : aldo, sunnies : prada minimal baroque }

The promised land of a 20-something trying to navigate the dark, murky waters of singledom? The self help section.

 

After a couple of bad dates and some intense browsing I discovered that nobody’s written a book on what men want women to wear. We’ve all heard the age-old ‘boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses’ cliche and magazines are constantly shoving statistics at us claiming that ‘men love red lipstick, bandage dresses and stilettos’. But if you ask your boyfriends, they claim they like their women fuss-free and au naturale.

 

Who should you believe?
My insatiable curiosity compelled me to conduct a little social experiment. I took a guy friend shopping and discovered that he made faces at anything with glitter or sequins,  paled considerably at a maxi skirt and shook his head disapprovingly at a leopard print jumpsuit.

 

As the afternoon continued, I watched in horror as he rejected wedges, harem pants, a faux fur gilet and wide leg jeans. After a significant amount of frustration and introspection, it hit me. The reason a ‘what men want’ book is so rare is because deep down, women know we’re better than that.

 
Nobody’s asking you to you to pull an Ugly Betty and we all feel a power surge whilst dressing to impress, but changing your wonderful, vibrant selves or your quirky personal style for anybody but yourself shouldn’t be an option. If you think about it, how often would a guy change from punk-rock to preppy for you?

 

This girl’s made a conscious decision to be herself and feel fabulous than change who she is for a date. Because I know now that if I have to change the way I look to get his attention, he probably isn’t worth it.

 

I’d love to hear what you guys think. Is wearing what he likes considered a good thing in the dating world? Or would you deem it unnecessary and pressurizing? Share your opinion in the comments section.

 

Bisou bisou,
Anushka

Comments

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05277596246008825144 Linlin

    Hi!
    OMG!I so agree with you…I was always conscious about it but now I really don’t bother or try and follow the first date ‘rules’ I wear whatever makes me feel good.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05913383832976687525 triggermyfashion

    I love ur pants/trousers…
    U look amazing btw::::D

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05854892132180456893 Inds

    Hi Anushka,

    Guess what !!!This is exactly the subject I was going to touch upon in my new blog ,after I got few bad comments(not constructively critical but pure demotivating :-)).Of course don’t qualify for dates per se (happily married)but dressing-the-way-I-want still needs to be the Mantra

    http://my-owns-space.blogspot.com/2011/12/on-naughty-sunday.html

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06822269821981128073 nitika

    It was amazing reading it.. Its always a mystery what a man likes his girl to wear!!
    But I never think about what his favorite color wud be or wtever.. yess there’s a lil pressure to look good,, But I guess being comfortable in your own skin works d best !!!
    PS- loved ur pants.. u look sexyy

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14238660603370905978 Nelly Wadia

    Who is this man who din’t like sequins and sparkle..Should we get together and beat him a lil:P but i know the constant need to feel pretty for men can be really frustrating..either ways i am totally digging these pants:D

  • Pra Chee

    Personally, I’m not exactly the fashion conscious girl but I stick by the “if you have to change your style to get him to like you, then he probably isn’t worth it” rule. Also, given a choice between the average male and my wardrobe, I choose my wardrobe any damned day and twice on sunday. I’m kiddin, of course…half kidding anyway.

    Of course, there are those times when you wear something thats not quite your style because your guy said it’d look nice on you. So you do it to “make him happy”. This isn’t exactly “changing your style for a guy” cause, typically, there wont be any strings attached.

  • http://lillynxxx.wordpress.com/ Lillynxxx

    Love the leopard print bag! Interesting post too… I think women should just dress for themselves. To look the best they can. :)

    http://lillynxxx.wordpress.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15070082333540081400 Sunkissed

    Loved the post – specially the adorable trousers!
    Most of the time, I dress for me but every once in a while I do take his dressing suggestions into considerations and honestly, they’ve created some great outfits :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11816947311846606592 Purvi

    well what I say is that if a guy is constricting you in any way then probably he is not worth it… i am married and my husband has a different (but good :)) taste as far as my clothing goes, he likes me wearing certain dresses but he never asks me not to wear what I like… so i think one needs to find a balance :) :)

    By the way I loved your look :)

    P.S: found your blog via Style Pile

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17306046117454371506 TheGirlAtFirstAvenue

    I’ve always dressed the way I want ‘coz the boy himself says that his sense of fashion sucks! But once in a while he surprises me with some great picks and ideas… which are not really my usual style. As long as i am comfortable I dont mind changing and experimenting! But If i have to change my style completely for him to like me.. then NO. Not worth it at all.
    But rejecting wedges and harem pants? :O Horror indeed.

    p.s – for the record I absolutely love your style!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12237455453380781059 The Delhi fashion blogger

    Lovely post !!! enjoyed it !! my logic is men will not like anything which is too obvious , its the same with makeup . they say they like women without makeup whereas what they mean is that they like basic makeup which is not too colorfull :P

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03960905427232997397 Japna

    Love the post Anushka! Its ever so brazen, and yet everything us girls are always going through. Although I should probably let you know the principle applies not only to singletons, but also those of us who’re married!
    Maxi dress seem like ‘nighties’, and wide legged pants are too hippie-like, oh, and any kind of printed pants are deemed to be pyjamas!
    Seems when t-shirt and jeans are all the doctor can prescribe, its best not to ask for a prescription at all.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17465371963399499597 Akshita Jain

    Hi Anushka,
    Your pants are a too die for and plus you carry them off awesme. I have been searching for something like this in Delhi. Can you help?
    Colorific India

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05623878770480083466 Dee O.

    absolutely stunning! i love those sunglasses :)

    That GOOD GOOD Blog

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00669543213517799080 SUGAR LANE

    you look awesome, and i’ve loved the text!
    we shouldnt even think about changing the way we dress for any guy! i have a good friend of mine always telling me i look fat if i wear a maxi skirt… well, i’m sorry but i love maxi skirts, make me feel like a princess :)
    and i had a boyfriend who told me not to wear such short jeans… that was the end of it!
    kisses from Paris,
    S

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16380040910041655531 Gaby de Modacapital

    amazing look, love your sunnines!

  • http://www.myntra.com/ Ash

    I like the ruffled top and love those glasses and the chunky bangle. Where’d you get it Anushka?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12852082564273548029 SAYANTANI SAHA

    There was a time I wore what my guy wanted me to but then we learn through our mistakes. In fact, it’s only after I broke up with him that I loved ‘brights’ and not neutrals, like he did. If I listen to my guy now, I’d probably end up in denims and tee all the time!

  • http://stylemynt.com/author/roshinee/ Roshinee Raajendran

    Totally agree with you here. I’ve gone out with wild looking, tattooed, pierced and dyed men because they were such darlings. Many sweet guys have said and done all the right things even when I was dressed in my on-retrospect-not-good-for-a-date clothes. The right guy will stick around.

  • http://lamp-conqueror.blogspot.com/ W

    We men like women who look great without attracting massive crowds in leopard jumpsuits.

    The whole idea is that you don’t need to look unique or different on a daily basis. We (on a whole) just need women to look pretty, so we can stare, lech and yes also, show off to our other friends (“Woohoo! I’m dating a hot chick!”).

    Eg. Subtle but spunky always works well in my favour. Plus, what you’re wearing in the pics is quite excellent btw. :)

    Hope this was relevant/helpful.

    Cheers,

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    good post ….. really helpful…!!
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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09731936812899589404 Style-Delights

    witty observation!! I believe if I dress in a way I like, I feel beautiful – and guys see what we feel!! at least mine does!lOL). But its nice to take little notes/suggestion of your man into consideration from time to time!
    BTW, loving the boldness of the pants here! Found you via tanvi’s blog! Loving it here!
    Take care,
    Jyoti
    Style-Delights Blog
    Let’s Twitter Together

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10695490593192211209 Smita

    I’ve been married to my man for 8.5 years and I guess I have also concluded some of these points over time. He hates sequins and bling in most forms and I love my bling in nail color and in my Indian dressing :D; he loves me to keep things simple though I like going over the top at times… We have grown to understand and appreciate each other’s tastes but now, more often than not, I dress to make myself feel good. And when I do that, he notices and almost always loves it

    Love your ruffled jacket!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13150657966896868757 sindhu gupta

    I ll never change the way I dress for a guy. I ll always date someone who will appreciate and adore my love for clothes. And I think everybody should do the same.
    Completely agree to what you say!

    Love,Sindhu
    http://www.sindhugupta.blogspot.in

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